THE SIMPSONS ARCHIVE
EPISODE GUIDE

Welcome to The Simpsons Archive's episode guide. Episodes are grouped by season and sorted in broadcast order. While premier broadcast dates are given as a reference, you must refer to the air dates chart for information on all successive Fox network broadcast dates.

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Simpson Family
Season Sixteen (2004-2005)
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER: AL JEAN

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Treehouse of Horror XV (#FABF23 / SI-1523) (7 Nov 2004)
  • "The Ned Zone": When Ned is sent to the hospital after being hit in the head by Homer's bowling ball (which he was using to get a frisbee down from his roof), he acquires a new ability; whenever he touches somebody, he sees how that person will die - and he sees Homer dying by Ned shooting him
  • "Four Beheadings and a Funeral": In London in 1890, detective Eliza Simpson (and her assistant, Dr. Bartley) take on the case of the Muttonchop Murderer
  • "In the Belly of the Boss": When Maggie gets shrunk inside of a vitamin capsule that Mr. Burns swallows, the other Simpsons have 30 minutes to get her out - by shrinking themselves and going into Mr. Burns's body

  • All's Fair In Oven War (#FABF20 / SI-1520) 14 Nov 2004
    A two-year remodeling of the kitchen (which (a) results in nobody, including Maggie, looking any older two years into the future, and (b) doesn't exist in any other episodes) leads Marge to make a dessert for a church event which is so popular that Ned suggests she enter the Ovenfresh Bake-off, but when the other contestants sabotage her entry, she returns the favor by adding an extra ingredient to the other entries - Maggie's ear drops, not knowing that Lisa saw her do it; when Bart finds the Playdude magazines that Marge found, cut out all of the nudes, and threw out, he and Milhouse think they should start acting like the bachelors in the magazines, including turning the treehouse into a bachelor pad, complete with James Caan

    Sleeping With The Enemy (#FABF19 / SI-1519) (21 Nov 2004)
    When Bart gets a perfect score on a state capitals test (thanks to Mrs. Krabappel leaving a map of the USA on the wall for all to see), the party Marge throws for him is so lame that Marge thinks that Bart and Lisa feel she is "overmothering" them, so she shares her love with someone else - Nelson - resulting in Marge taking Nelson in (and putting him in with Bart) when Nelson's mother leaves him; Lisa gets the impression that she has a big butt - from her family, friends, and mirror

    She Used to Be My Girl (#FABF22 / SI-1522) 5 Dec 2004
    Marge discovers that her high school journalism partner, Chloe (they were the Springfield High version of Woodward & Bernstein), is now a network TV news reporter (while Marge decided to forego college and marry Homer, Chloe broke up with her boyfriend, Barney, to go to journalism school); when Lisa seems more interested in what Chloe has done with her life than what Marge did with hers, she has to sneak out in the back of Chloe's car to attend a U.N. women's conference in Capitol City, only to end up surrounded by lava with Chloe at the base of the erupting Mount Springfield; can Marge save the day? Is there someone out there who can, oh, I don't know, maybe fly a helicopter to get Chloe out of there? Is this the end of Classic Drunk Barney?

    Fat Man and Little Boy (#FABF21 / SI-1521) 12 Dec 2004
    Bart refuses to accept that he is no longer a boy after he loses his last baby tooth, so he decides to express himself with T-shirt slogans, which bring him to the attention of a local novelty salesmen interested in becoming Bart's partner, causing the recently-fired Homer to consider himself the number two man of the house; a documentary on lions leads Homer to believe that the only way back to the top is to re-establish himself with another young cub, so he turns Lisa's science project - a model of the first nuclear reactor - into a working model, complete with plutonium he "acquired" from the plant

    Midnight Rx (#FABF16 / SI-1516) 16 Jan 2005
    When Mr. Burns cancels the plant employees' prescription drug plan, Homer decides to get cheap prescription drugs from Canada (with forged Canadian ID papers), only for Grampa, Ned, and Apu to join him on a second trip, which is not as successful as the first; however, when Smithers is at the brink of death because of a thyroid condition, Burns decides to finance one final run (it's easier than teaching someone new the filing system) with the help of his plane, "The Plywood Pelican"

    Mommie Beerest (#GABF01 / SI-1601) 30 Jan 2005
    When the health inspector, an old friend of Moe's, dies, his replacement is not as lenient with Moe, and orders it shut down unless Moe can make a long and expensive list of repairs. Homer, who just paid off his mortgage, decides to re-mortgage his house to pay for the repairs. However, when Marge finds out, she becomes Moe's business partner, and decides to turn the bar into a British pub, which becomes a success. When Marge starts spending more and more time with Moe, Homer can't help but feel worried about the convention Marge and Moe will be attending together in Aruba, as he thinks this is where Moe will make his move. Guess what? So does Moe!

    Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass (#GABF02 / SI-1602) 6 Feb 2005
    Homer one-ups Bart at a carnival game and does an "in-your-face" victory dance, which is caught on video and uploaded to the Internet, catching the interest of a professional football player who needs somebody to design new end zone celebration dances for him. Soon, Homer is choreographing celebrations for Yao Ming, LeBron James, Warren Sapp, Tom Brady, and Michelle Kwan (all of whom voice themselves), and ends up getting asked to choreograph that year's Super Bowl halftime show. However, the night before the game, Homer still doesn't have any ideas, so he goes into the church to ask for divine inspiration (or at least ideas from the people who sleep in there) - just as Ned is praying for guidance as nobody is watching his Bible-inspired movies.

    Pranksta Rap (#GABF03 / SI-1603) 13 Feb 2005
    Bart sneaks out of the house to attend a rap concert Marge told him he couldn't attend, but when he overhears her and Homer venting their anger over his disobeying them, he writes a note saying he has been kidnapped and throws it into the house. Chief Wiggum, realizing he hasn't been the best cop in the city's history, takes extra interest in the case, and when he hears a clue on one of Bart's phone calls (an incredibly cheap brand of stove-pop popcorn only he and one other person buys), he makes an arrest - Kirk van Houten, whose apartment Bart has been using as his hiding place. Even Kirk is willing to go along with the story, as the prison cell is cleaner than his apartment, and he gets three meals a day and all the groupies he can handle. Everybody is happy, especially new Police Commissioner Wiggum - well, everybody except Lisa, who discovers the truth.

    There's Something About Marrying (#GABF04 / SI-1604) 20 Feb 2005
    But first, a Fox disclaimer:
    This episode contains discussions of same sex marraige. Parental discretion is advised.
    Bart and Milhouse try playing a prank on Barney, but it backfires; however, a tourist who literally just fell off a turnip truck is not as lucky. However, that tourist turns out to be a roving reporter for a TV show, and gives Springfield his lowest rating ever. In order to regain the tourist trade, Lisa suggests legalizing same-sex marriages. When Reverend Lovejoy refuses to conduct them, despite Marge's protests, Homer (who hears that he can get $200 per ceremony) joins "The e-Piscopal Church" and becomea a minister online.
    One prospective customer is a bit of a surprise: Patty. The surprise isn't that she's a lesbian, but that she actually found "the right woman," a professional golfer who hit Patty with a 3-wood (well, a 3-metal) when her Pro-Am partner, Krusty, ducked. However, Marge, who was all for same-sex marriages when Reverend Lovejoy refused to support them, can't bring herself to supporting Patty's marriage. She changes her mind when she sees Patty's fiancee leaving the toilet seat up and shaving, but at the ceremony, she reveals the truth by revealing Patty's fiancee's rather large Adams apple. He says that he loves her and asks her to marry him anyway, but Patty refuses to go straight, and walks out into the sunset with Selma.

    On a Clear Day I Can't See My Sister (#GABF05 / SI-1605) 6 Mar 2005
    Everybody up at 3 AM for a field trip to Springfield Glacier. That is, everybody up except Lisa, who falls for the "enjoy your trip, see you next fall" gag twice, courtesy of Bart. At the glacier (or what's left of it, anyway, as most of it seems to have melted), while Mrs. Krabappel demonstrates to Principal Skinner that their relationship is over once and for all, Bart sneaks a walkie-talkie behind Lisa and, while Lisa laments the loss of the glacier because of global warming caused by gaseous emissions, Bart supplies the appropriate sound effects. Lisa has had it, and gets a restraining order requiring Bart to keep at least 20 feet away; unfortunately for Bart, this means he has to live in a tent outside the house, and can only attend school inside of Willie's shack. When Marge tries to get Judge Harn to lift the order, Bart makes the wrong comment, and now it's 200 feet, which means Bart now lives in the woods behind the house.
    Meanwhile, Homer discovers that Grampa is a greeter at Sprawl-Mart ("not a parody of Wal-Mart"), but when Grampa tries to free a stuck shopping cart and ends up crashing into a pile of gnomes, Homer takes over, and soon discovers he has a talent for the job - but not a talent for being locked in the store all night like the other greeters.

    Goo Goo Gai Pan (#GABF06 / SI-1606) 13 Mar 2005
    Selma has a severe hot flash while giving Mr. Burns his driving test. Dr. Hibbert explains (with help from a video starring Robert Wagner) that Selma is experiencing the onset of menopause. Selma, forgetting the problems she had with Bart and Lisa in "Selma's Choice", decides she wants a baby rather than grow old alone. Adoption is suggested, but the Springfield orphanage is empty. Lisa suggests adopting a baby girl from China. One problem: the Chinese government only allows married couples to adopt. No problem; Selma writes down a name for her husband - Homer's - and "The Simpsons are going to China!" (with Marge acting as Bart and Lisa's nanny) so Selma and Homer can pick up the baby together.

    Mobile Homer (#GABF07 / SI-1607) 20 Mar 2005
    When Homer nearly gets killed by a repeatedly closing garage door, Marge suggests that he gets health insurance (pausing to stop him choking on a closed window). However, Homer is considered uninsurable. so Marge starts saving money by cutting corners, which doesn't work very well when Homer wastes it faster than Marge saves it. Marge insists that she takes charge of the family finances, resulting in Homer using the savings on the down-payment for an RV. Marge has finally had enough, and stops talking to him, so Homer seeks out some new friends - fellow RV owners, whom he invites to pull into his backyard. However, their problems disappear the next morning; the problem is, so do Bart and Lisa, who decide to drive the RV back to the sales lot.

    The Seven-Beer Snitch (#GABF08 / SI-1608) 3 Apr 2005
    While in Shelbyville, the Simpsons watch a musical about the town, which includes a character from Springfield who isn't particularly bright. Marge suggests to the Springfield Cultural Activities Board to have a concert hall, built by Frank Gehry (voicing himself); however, when it becomes clear that nobody in Springfield likes classical music, the building is sold to Mr. Burns, who turns it into a prison. One of its first inmates is Homer, who is arrested for "abusing litter" when he kicks a can five times, in violation of a decades-old law. When Snake tries to escape, Homer thinks he "accidentally" fell into a garbage truck and tells the guards; Mr. Burns, the warden, thinks Homer has a future as a snitch - and so does Homer, when he gets a large-screen plasma TV for his help. Once word gets out, however, a phony jailbreak is leaked to Homer so the guards won't be around when the prisoners go after him...
    Meanwhile, Bart and Lisa's attempts to discover why Snowball II is so fat lead them to a shocking discovery; their cat is leading two lives by living with another family - and is able to do tricks for them as well.

    Future-Drama (#GABF12 / SI-1612) 17 Apr 2005
    In the middle of yet another one of their fights, Bart and Lisa stumble into the basement of Professor Frink's house, where he has been expecting them; it seems that he has perfected the science of predicting the future through astrology. He shows them a glimpse of Springfield "Eight years from Tuesday", where Bart and Lisa are getting ready to attend their Senior Prom before graduating together; Lisa is not only graduating at age 16, but has a scholarship to Yale provided by Mr. Burns he started as punishment for cancelling Christmas. One small problem; Bart's girlfriend isn't happy with his plans for their future, but when Bart saves Mr. Burns from a robbery, Burns gives Bart the chance to go to college - by giving him Lisa's scholarship.

    Don't Fear the Roofer (#GABF10 / SI-1610) 1 May 2005
    It's raining in Springfield, and Homer's roof is leaking, so Homer takes the only sensible course of action; he heads off to Moe's. However, he spoils a surprise party for Lenny, and makes it worse when the barstool he sits on turns to be a cake in the shape of Lenny's favorite seat, so he's tossed out by Moe. Homer ends up at Knockers, where he meets a fellow loner (voiced by Ray Romano), who turns out to be a roofer. However, nobody but Homer ever seems to be able to see Ray - not even Bart, who was in the home repair warehouse with the two of them - so Marge and Dr. Hibbert have Homer declared insane.
    Note: this episode's opening includes a caption that says it is the 350th episode. The original idea was for "The Heartbroke Kid" to be the 350th episode, but when the death of Pope John Paul II caused the premiere of "The Father, the Son, and the Holy Guest Star" to be delayed, Fox made the switch to this episode. Note that Fox never explains how this episode is number 350, but they did plan to air the 350th on the same day as the return of new episodes of Family Guy and the premiere (not counting the episode that aired after the Super Bowl) of American Dad!. (See "Barting Over" in Season 14 for another example of Fox's "creative accounting".)

    The Heartbroke Kid (#GABF11 / SI-1611) 1 May 2005
    It's a big day at Springfield Elementary; Superintendent Chalmers and Principal Skinner will select who gets the school's vending machine contract. While a gumbo machine sounds interesting, the winner is Scammer & Z-Dog, complete with hip-sounding vending machines. Lisa discovers that the snacks are loaded with everything from hydrogenated petroleum oil to partially-deweaponized plutonium, but her protests are no match for the machine's slogans. Bart goes overboard with the snacks; three weeks later, either Uter's hair has turned yellow and spiky, or Bart is incredibly fat. After a heart attack and a failed attempt at diet and exercise, Bart is sent to an expensive fat camp, and Homer and Marge have to open the house to German students in order to pay for it.

    A Star is Torn (#GABF13 / SI-1613) 8 May 2005
    Lisa sings the rest of the family to sleep with a rendition of "Mockingbird" (after they are all suffering from the system shock of an all-vegetable meal), which is so good that she decides to enter Krusty's "Li'l Starmaker" competition (with a grand prize of being animated into an Itchy & Scratchy cartoon). However, when another singer (voiced by American Idol's third winner, Fantasia Barrino) sings a much better version of "Mockingbird", Homer quickly pens a song about Springfield which is a hit with the crowd, and Lisa qualifies for the show. With Homer's help (especially in handling with stagehands), Lisa makes it to the finals, but when Homer goes one step too far with his stage fathering, she fires him, and he ends up lending his talents to her final competition.

    Thank God It's Doomsday (#GABF14 / SI-1614) 8 May 2005
    Bart, Lisa, and Homer duck into the mall movie theater after Bart and Lisa have a mishap at the new barber and have to avoid the school's camera club. Inside, Homer watches a movie about the end of the world as foretold in the Bible, leading Homer to do a little research and work out that the Apocalypse begins in one week. Nobody listens to him, until he makes a prediction that "the stars will fall to the Earth", which is exactly what happens when a celebrity-filled blimp crashes, and soon Homer has a pack of followers who join him for the end"- and then desert him when the end doesn't happen, and don't listen to him when he discovers a mistake in his calculations (he counted 12 people at the last supper, but forgot to count Jesus, making 13) - especially Moe, who sold his bar to a company that turned it into a sushi restaurant.

    Home Away from Homer (#GABF15 / SI-1615) 15 May 2005
    Ned hasn't been doing too well at the Leftorium ever since LeftMart opened, so Marge suggests that he rent out one of his rooms, which he does, to two girls from the local community college. However, the two girls have a sideline of their own; a webcam of their bedroom (www.sexyslumberparty.com - and, at the time the episode first aired, the link worked, pointing to a site with drawings of the two girls), which soon becomes a town hit. When Marge finds out, she drags Homer (literally, by the ear) to Ned, who discovers the truth and realizes that he can't trust anybody in Springfield any more. There is one place he can go; Humbleton, Pennsylvania, the home of the Humble Figurines that he collects.

    The Father, the Son, and the Holy Guest Star (#GABF09 / SI-1609) 15 May 2005
    Bart is expelled by Principal Skinner for a prank at a school Meideval Festival that was actually caused by Groundskeeper Willie (who was mad at having to be the village idiot), and ends up going to a Catholic school, which is more affordable than other private schools. The only person who takes a reali interest in Bart is Father Sean, who explains he acted a bit like Bart in his day, and lends Bart a "Lives of the Saints" comic book. Marge is afraid that Bart is turning into a Catholic (which, with all of the sitting, standing, and kneeling, she calls "Simon Says without a winner"), but Homer is sidetracked by the fact that the school is having a pancake dinner followed by bingo, and when he discovers that he can be absolved of all sins through confession if he converts, Marge problems are doubled, especially when she realizes that Catholics do not believe in birth control.
    Note: This episode was scheduled to premiere on 10 April 2005, but after Pope John Paul II died eight days earlier, Fox decided that it was not the right time to air an episode that made fun of the Catholic Church, and moved this episode to May 15



    NOTE: All titles and synopses for episodes in development are subject to later modification.

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    Last updated on June 21, 2014 by Don Del Grande (ddelgran@simpsonsarchive.com)