The Simpsons Arcade GameINDEX
Video Game Version (Notes by Raymond Chen)
Video Game Version (Notes by Livingston)
PC Version (Notes by Brian Bergevin)
The Simpsons Arcade Game
Video Game Version by KonamiNotes by Raymond Chen
Here's what I've gathered... I encourage any amendments and corrections.
Smithers has kidnapped Maggie. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to rescue the youngest Simpson from the clutches of the evil sycophant.
Impeding your progress are thin men in purple two-piece suits and fat guys in white shirts. Beware, however, that the bad guys are often disguised.
Scattered aboutAssorted foodstuffs, which increase your hit points, I assume.
Various weapons you can pick up and throw at the bad guys. Particularly amusing weapons include...
Santa's Little Helper.Sometimes Sherri (or is it Terri?) walks past, carrying a weapon or food, which you can take from her.
Another interesting weapon is a slingshot, which fires rocks at the bad guys. (Until you run out of rocks, of course.)
[?] When you complete the level, you see Smithers floating away in a hot-air balloon, holding Maggie in his arms.
Players compete to see who can inflate their balloon fastest. Winner gains bonus points.
Level 2: Krustyland Amusement Park
Milhouse wanders past.
Level 3: Springfield Discount Cemetery
Frogs in the background croak and hop around.
Level 4: Down the crypt elevator
You are on a giant platform which slowly descends down a shaft.
Level 5: Moe's Tavern
You emerge in Moe's Tavern.
Attract modeThe Simpsons title sequence.
Parting clouds reveal "The Simpsons"(tm)
Pan over SNPP.
Bart skateboards out of school (no chalkboard)
Bart: Age: 10 Alias: El Barto / The Bartman Voice balloon: "Yo, man!" Hobbies: Instigating disobedience.Homer leaves work. In the background is a man holding a sandwich in a pair of tongs.
Homer: Alias: Home Boy / Home Dude Voice balloon: "D'oh!" Hobbies: Bowlin' a big one.Lisa exhibits outburst of unbridled creativity.
Lisa: Age: 7 Alias: Moaning Lisa Voice balloon: "Embrace nothingness!" Hobbies: Wailing on her saxophone.Marge and Maggie drive home and honk the horn.
Marge: Age: 34 Alias: Mom Voice balloon: "Play friendly, everyone!!" Hobbies: Making tasty gelatin desserts. Maggie: Age: 1 Alias: The Baby No voice balloon. Instead, "Suck! Suck!" effects.The family sit on the couch. Maggie is missing. She falls down from above, and Marge catches her.
High scores modeThe TV set. Next to each score (and initials, in the Hell Gothic font) is a little icon of which character was being played. The first five scores are shown, Bart's hand twiddles the TV knob, the screen fuzzes, the second five scores are shown.
Raymond "What's a joystick!?" [8f06] Chen
HTMLized November 17, 1995 by Dave Hall
The Simpsons Arcade Game
Video Game Version by KonamiNotes by Livingston
Arcade Game ReviewYes itís finally here. The Simpsonís Video Game can be a thrilling ride through wonderland or an agonizing hike through the woods depending on your strategy. This guide while far from a magical genie lamp can help to serve as a pathfinder to hopefully let you avoid or at least lessen the severity of the numerous thrashings you will receive throughout the game.
The EnemiesFrom corpulent yes men to solemn and sober ninjas, Smithers has an entire cast of miscreants for hire that will pull out all the stops to prevent you from rescuing Maggie. Though the incarnations vary from level to level a few basic guidelines for defeating these baddies usually apply whenever you happen to run into them.
1. Keep pounding on individualsFaced with a single enemy the best course of action usually is to turn the heat and not let up until their lifeless corpse hits the floor. All the better since AI opponents tend to fight only in short controlled bursts giving your avatar the edge in swiftness. Use this to your advantage and keep constant pressure to prevent them from retaliating.
2. Handle groups with attack retreat tacticsGroups must not be handled in the same way as individuals. For one thing they pack a doozy of a punch and can as swarm small groups of heroes cutting off any chance of escape. Instead try to cut off isolated goons from the pack and hammer them, retreating when the mob threatens to close in. A favorite tactic among aficionados is the notorious jump kick strategy. Players can constantly use the powerful jump kick attack to knock down entire groups of opponents perpetually leaping away from hostiles in the process. Thereís a good chance to get away with this single attack though the early stages. Donít plan on it staying that way forever, the crowded upper levels will force one trick ponies rethink their strategy. If you have a few friends along, so much the better. Practice rotating tasks with your comrades between kicking the butts of the vulnerable goons and distracting the rest of the enemy party by nothing less then the tried and true mindless running and jumping.
3. Watch for traps.Early and often enemies have an annoying habit of making dramatic and by design deadly entrances. Donít get caught off guard. While some of the traps canít reasonably be anticipated a few have a fairly obvious guise. Learn where the pitfalls are and avoid them.
Basic GoonThese lowlifes in business suits and ties come in several different flavors but they all respond to you in the same way. Theyíre fairly easy to handle separately by standard attack but watch out for the ones armed with weapons and the plentiful mobs that abound throughout much of the game. Other varieties like the hatthrowers are annoying especially if they get the drop on you from a distance. No matter which type presents itself in heated combat; donít attempt to change methods of defense drastically. You can expect to jam with these guys from the beginning till the end of the game; with the notable exception of Dreamworld.
Fat ThugThe deluxe sized jollies on Smithersí payroll donít really begin to appear until the second level but once they do start nosing into your quest youíll wonder how you ever lost without them. They possess a much higher constitution then basic goons and dish out a comparable amount of damage to boot. Even more disturbing is a strange twirling attack some of their kind like to pull off at the worst moments. Donít stand still close of fat thugs, as they have a tendency to accidently strangle heroes in front them. You can count on seeing these heinous villains working in tandem with basic goons throughout the game, albeit in lower numbers.
Themed EnemiesUnlike the characters listed above, themed goons are usually restricted to a single related Level. There are quite a few more archetypes of themed than basic enemies and they are inclined to be among your tougher foes, Remember though; many of the same rules for basic enemies apply when facing off against these fiends.
FiremanYouíll fight anywhere from 1 to 3 of these not so civil servants near the end of Downtown Springfield. They move relatively slowly but have a dangerous hose attack that can knock you senseless.
Krusty ImposterIt looks like Krusty has finally gotten his long overdue cameo on Simpsons merchandise, but wait! There are too many Krustys for even a cheap theme park to pay! Thatís right, the befabled buffoons are actually fat thugs moonlighting at Krusty Land. They seem quite harmless on their novelty balls until they pull off an amazing spinning trick that will knock audiences off their feet and a good portion of your lifebar down the drain if you donít keep your distance.
BongoThere can be only one Bongo, so it definitely feels suspicious when several appear and begin flailing their amazing extendo ears of death. The first three ĎBongosí are really wannabe basic goons but donít hurt the last one.
TeacupsEver hate that nausea you got from those stupid teacup rides? Ever throwup because they didnít shut the dumb thing off quick enough? Ever wanted to bash those dinky cups to itty bitty pieces but some nitwit operator was watching? Well if you answered yes to any of the above itís your golden opportunity for some payback. Ridden by fat thugs the cups arenít really that hard to break. Provided you got the hammer from Milhouse. Be careful for their sudden charge attacks. With so many cups around at once itís quite easy to get crushed in-between them.
Sheet GhostThese unearthly apparitions are actually basic goons dressed for a night out in the Springfield Cemetery. A single blow will usually send them tumbling to their more down to earth embodiment. Otherwise they lower themselves from trees with increasing regularity to bludgeon the unwary in a flurry of ethereal limbs.
ZombieThe now decayed corpses of prior Springfieldians appear in two separate forms. Three if you count what looks like it once was a female. The lighter easier kind basically waits to be kicked down while the darker slimier ones jump around and burrow beneath the soil (where you can easily see them move).
LumberjackAppearing in Springfield Park the Burly Lumberjacks arenít only in the forest to drive forward the cruel destruction of our natural resources. They also carry impossibly large logs, which serve as nice clubs and battering rams.
HomerbearBearing a striking semblance to Our Favorite Familyís patriarch, in appearance, intellect, and odor, the Homerbears usually browse peacefully on the donut trees and beer springs dotting the land. However when startled they tend to get a little irritable, and exclusively attack (surprisingly) the heroes with the rambunctious glee only a creature of the wilds could muster. One interesting thing to note about these enemies is a perchance for slumber even in the midst of a raging battle.
SaxophonesYou can try to relax and listen to the sweet melodies of these musical monstrosities but the edges of the notes that gush out of them are a wee bit too sharp. These instruments love to frolic while airborne so youíll have to jump frequently to reach them.
DonutsOdd, Homer never met a donut he didnít like until he came upon these cranky fellows. They heave miniature pastries out at heroes and a fair amount fly in via angel wings so you better watch the skies of Dreamland. A good bit of pounding should reduce these lumbering delicacies into the passive foodstuffs of the real world.
Bart ImpsFugitives from the celestial schools of Dreamland; these demons love to hover and buzz around the cloud valleys pulling pranks on the oblivious and intrepid. Their wings make reaching a chore and they cast searing bolts of lighting in every direction. Luckily Bart Imps only appear as enemies on a single occasion.
Radiation SuitsThese walking implements of nuclear energy management customarily fall apart with patience but can still carry on a fight with several limbs missing. Watch for the one with the ubiquitous carbon rod.
NinjasAppearing in two forms the ninjas make a very spectacular debut on the side of evil. The blue ninjas are your run of the mill martial arts experts. The lighter colored ones hurl sharp ninja stars and vanish in and out of sight.
BossesAppearing at the end of each level the bosses are mainly distinguished from minions by their bigger size and cheesier attacks. The fighting style of a boss is usually defined by a basic move and one or more Ďspecialsí. Getting hit several times by bosses is practically inevitable but there are specific ways to avoid slamming in more tokens then necessary during encounters. Remember the key is to attack and retreat at the right times. Also the color of the boss can help you determine the relative damage sustained, if heís flashing red heís about to fall.
WrestlerSpecial: Arm Thrash
Who would have thought that a pro wrestler would actually want a fight on his hands? This 500 pound bozo drops in around the end of Downtown Spring field. Not particularly bright, but his attacks alternates between generic punching and a strange limb thrash the can send you flying across the screen. Wrestlerís one weakness however is his aversion to the immodesty of partial nudity. Try to dish out several hits when his shorts fall down running away before he can return the favor.
Krusty BlimpSpecial: Bounce
What better way to celebrate the end of a day at the Happiest place on Springfield then with the giant Krusty balloon? In all honesty though gigantic balls of helium controlled by a demented terrorist donít exactly fit the traditional definition of a genial guest. Watch for the hands; if they move, get out of the way. The bounce special is especially damaging but can be avoided by the fleet of foot. Moving in back of the balloon seems to help evade some attacks but as usual, is not foolproof defense.
Dynamic DuoSpecial: The Whip
No, Smithers doesnít have a contract with Batman, but heís patched into a set of worthy impersonators. Met in Downtown Springfield and fought with at the entrance to Moeís Tavern, Simpsonís own equivalent of Dumb and Dumber are definitely not a pair to underestimate. Both have sturdy primary attacks but the larger Lackey tends to always fall first. Which ever one you decide to go after, make sure to concentrate on, otherwise youíll be faced with a Ďwhipí special which on the flip side opens the group up for attack.
DrunkSpecial: Flambeau Gas Cloud
Thankfully not Barney but some other unknown dimwit will crash your orgy of booze and fun at the end of Moeís Tavern. The killer breath of gas is bad enough but the flames that emit from his mouth can literally burn you to a crisp. Like most other bosses he will let his guard down during a signature taunt giving you a chance to go on the offensive.
BearSpecial: The Tumble
Nature should have never let this freak out in the wilds of Springfield. Apparently unwilling to make reparations to the forest faunaís tarnished image of docility heís quite adept at dismembering the bipedal Simpsons limb from limb with his claws. The most dangerous card he has to play however is an awesome rolling special that interestingly enough is one of the more difficult moves to avoid. Anyways, after beating the snot out of Smokeyís cousin youíll reveal a fat thug hiding inside.
Bowling BallSpecial: Spiral, The Bowl, The Twist, Bounce
Mr Big Kahuna of the Alley makes a special appearance as the honcho of Dreamland. The ball enters several stages depending on the amount of damage it has taken and the attacks grow deadlier with each. Eventually it will develop several strange appendages that seem to spontaneously whip around the screen. Another unique feature of this boss is its substantial arsenal of specials. The ball can spin its arms and dash gracefully from side to side making it very difficult to avoid indeed. The most dangerous specialty of all though is the Bounce in which it leaps high into the sky and hurls itself down. Watch for the shadow, if youíre on top of it when the ball lands search your pockets for another quarter..
RobotSpecial: Gamma Ray
Hands down one of the cooler bosses, the man of Steel comes with an alien slug that despite the appearance of being an enemy is actually the key to defeating the walking can opener. Being a disciple of yoga the robot often likes to bend and lengthen its arms quite a bit longer then their normal length. Give a wide berth to this boss when it begins its special, anyone caught in the blast gets fried.
SmithersHereís a chance for all opponents of alternative lifestyles to wreak their long awaited sweet vengeance. Unfortunately it ainít easy. Not a quite a great fighter himself Smithers packs an impressive array of explosives that he will unfortunately use as the brunt of his attacks. Residing on the final level it befits Smithers to also be a much different character then his bygone minions. The main disparity is his small size that paradoxically enough increases his agility and makes scoring hits a test in patience. These abilities of course are played to the hilt with his method of attack. One of his favorite tactics is dashing to and fro like a jackrabbit launching handfuls of bombs all across the screen. These bombs obviously will eventually detonate for some additional damage. His cape besides being an additional eyesore doubles as a weapon against any who stray too close. What it all adds up to is an opponent that will be difficult to tag with any regularity. Luckily the lapdog isnít quite invincible, train yourself to spot the moments when he halts, although he will offer significant resistance they are the only reliable times to hit him.
BurnsSpecial: Surface to Surface Missile Strike
So it all comes down to this. One on one, man to man, mono y mono with the sinister taskmaster of Springfield Nuclear. Well maybe with a friend or three. Seriously though life is much easier if you have a few amigos to bash with Burns. Being a gentleman of high upbringing he does not believe in the filthy commoner aspects of hand to hand fighting and to that end has instead come equipped with a three-ton exoframe. Among the many features of this modern day contraption are razor sharp claws, blinding speed and Ay carumba even a fully functional STS rocket launcher! Obviously being pitted against a steel leviathan armed to the circuit boards with the weapons of warfare, it stands to logic that a great deal of effort should be put into avoiding his charging attacks. Burns also isnít for the casual or the impatient. Believe the rumors, for a senile old reptile he sure can take a beating and also give one too. Whatís that you say? Burns giving? Itís true, he will donate several bruises, wounds, and sometimes a headache but it ends there.
The HeroesWith all the evil scum in afoot in Springfield itís a wonder the place doesnít collapse into anarchy. What we need is a hero, well actually four heroes. Ok, ok two heroes and two heroines. We need four people to step directly into villainryís diabolical path Ö no not the Fantastic Four; itís our Favorite Family no less. Homer, Marge, Bart, and Lisa have all jumped at the opportunity to enlist to stop Smithers and his wicked henchmen once and for all. Only the strength of this family stands between the malevolent mogul Montgomery Burns and the complete destruction of their fair town or at least an expensive vacation to Bali.
HomerInterests: Eating, Watching TV, eating some more, pretending to enjoy Lisaís poem about a young disillusioned salesman fresh out of school mmmmm school of Fresh salmon.
Weapon: Oleí Slugger
You usually couldnít count Homer to be up for an adventure unless beer or donuts are involved. Yet, when the nefarious Smithers snatched his youngest daughter our very own bumbling oafish patriarch made the instantaneous conversion from couch tomato to bon fida fighter, a true accomplishment all to itself. Of course the fact that he doesnít know that fighting is a form of exercise canít hurt. A true trencherman, Homer just loves to wade into groups of enemies and slug it out with only his bare fists, which oddly enough may be the only sort of weapon easy enough for him to learn. You can keep your edumicacioní Homer knows all heíll need to defeat Burns is a little hard work and courage. Now if he could only bribe someone else to do it.
Special Caption: Unknown
Thereís a lot to be done out there and everybody knows Homer isnít gonna do it all himself. So every once in a while he gets the opportunity to team up with another member of the family to wreak some serious damage.
Homer + Marge: Wheelbarrel
Who needs a wheel barrel? With this wild rendezvous our two lovebirds can hurtle and knock down scores of opponents in a few crazy seconds.
BartInterests: (According to file at Springfield Juvenile Detention Facility) Inciting riots, Molotov cocktails, cheating polygraph tests.
Weapon: The Faithful Skateboard
Bart Simpson, need we say more? Springfieldís own ten year old menace is back for another escapade ready to paint the town red and wreak his very own patented brand of chaos on the unsuspecting SNPP goons. We all know El Barto is a solid fighter and a favorite choice among players, but using his cherished skateboard as both transportation and a weapon he can become a veritable whirlwind of destruction. Add that on to a crew cut and we have a guy almost too cool for your average game. Though always an unstable rogue, Bart makes a valuable if unlikely additional to the forces of good.
Bart SpecialsSpecial Caption: Unknown
Bart may prefer playing solo hombre but heís not above calling in the big guns in a particularly sticky situation. Teaming up with various other family members he can try out several different weird and wacky combos to psyche out the opponent all the while inflicting several times more damage then when alone. Donít get him wrong though, Bart may enjoy a good double team fight but he wouldnít be caught dead in any ďfamily activityĒ. That sort of stuffís bound to start rumors.
Bart+ Homer: Unknown
Bart+ Marge: Bart hops on Margeís shoulders and knocks down enemies with his skateboard.
Bart+ Lisa: Red Rover
A very amusing special; the kids link hands and dash madly about the screen clothes lining opponents as they go. In a rare show of civility badman Bart can join up with his sister for a devastating special that can knock opponents down with frightening speed.
LisaInterests: Thought provoking novels and dissertations by leading British authors and humanitarians, grassroots crusades against injustice, pony riding
Weapon: Jump rope
Though the smartest girl in Springfield abhors violence in any form the thought of Maggie in Burnsí vile clutches is enough to make Lisa forsake the pacifistís ways and take up her trusty jump rope in the name of justice! As a staunch feminist Lisaís eager to prove herself every bit as capable of taking on Smithersí minions as any man in the family (Yah! Take that you male chauvinist pigs.). And why not? With all the same basic moves speed and jump power comparable to other members Lisaís definitely indispensable not only for words of wisdom but also for her fighting prowess.
Lisa SpecialsSpecial Caption: Unknown
Although her dreams of global harmony have yet to come to fruition they can be partially realized in the mutual respect and cooperation needed to pull of her specials. By discarding the shackles of hate and prejudice that cloud the true spirit of mankind Lisa can join together with family to triumph over the unfeeling Montgomery Burns. Maybe, just maybe someday in the future she can take the values learned from these collaborations and apply them in life to help her vision of tolerance and foresight manifest to reality.
Lisa+Bart: Red Rover
Every advocate of justice needs a break from the worries of world conflict. While sheís not demanding universal equality one of Lisaís favorite pastimes is to join with her brother and run headlong into battle mowing down entire groups of opponents.
MargeInterests: Spring cleaning, Defensive Baking, HouseSponge Weekly
Weapon: Discount Vacuum Cleaner
Ever the voice of caution Marge rounds out our fighting family by providing gentle guidance and compassion, while also making sure no villainous henchmen are roughed up too badly. Sheís even brought her vacuum along to make sure a motherís duty of keeping her community clean of both dirt and evil never goes neglected. The fighting ought stay sensible and a fresh change of clothes must be ready whenever the need calls. If Marge doesnít do it, who will?
Marge SpecialsSpecial Caption: Unknown
One of the foremost things on a motherís mind is to find ways of getting her family to work together. Why not make the best of a bad situation and cooperate while fighting? Marge has cooked up a variety of signature specials that make teamwork both useful and fun!
Marge+Homer: Youíve gotta give Marge credit. Homerís ratherÖĒelegantĒ size makes anything involving dexterity a trial in patience. He has however, managed to put his finger on this hilarious move thatíll have the star struck couple racing through Springfield with blinding speed wheelbarrow style.
MaggieThe Homerís pint size bundle of joy (not the donut bag) carries in her mouth the gem Burns values most. A gigantic ill-gained diamond, hey, he may be filthy rich but he isnít above stealing. One problem, thereís a little girl that wonít let it go. Smithers will stop at nothing to make sure that this precious jewel gets delivered even if he has to deal with the baby attached to it. Too bad, a family just as determined stands in his way.
GrandpaBack in the good old days life was bland, TV was sensible, and people and stuck with old fashioned potatoes and hickory. Only those folks without a grain of sense in their nogginí went off on emí wacky adventures. So why has the rest of Simpson family gone on the lam for this bunch of hogwash? Grampa will never know, nor will he ever be able to understand what good all this high living and excitement will do for the young uns. Though Grandpaís a no go, heís with the family in spirit.
The Simpsons Arcade Game
PC Version by KonamiNotes by Brian Bergevin
How to get itNo, you can't buy this game anywhere. It came out in 1991 and has long been overshadowed by more complex games. But several Simpsons fans make it available on the internet for free downloading. Run a search on the engine of your choice for "Simpsons arcade game download" and you should find at least a couple of sites offering it. (If not, try asking on alt.tv.simpsons to see if anyone can help you out.) It comes zipped as a 1.4 mb file, which you should unzip into a folder named "data." From there, run the configure program and then simpsons.exe, and you're off to Springfield.
SummaryThe PC version of the arcade game is a pretty faithful adaptation of the original Konami arcade machine. Maggie has been taken hostage by Smithers, and it's up to Marge, Homer, Bart, and Lisa to rescue her. The PC version supports one or two players, and features 8 levels of sideways scrolling action. Players must dispatch various bad guys, and each level ends with a particularly tough villain.
System RequirementsNot very much. It's an older game, and ran just fine (albeit a tiny bit slow) on my 4 MB. 386 system. Allows for keyboard or joystick control, and does seem to support some sound cards, although how well the sound works is beyond me. (If downloaded from the Simpsons Software page, a glitch prevents normal installation. Make a directory entitled "data," and unzip the arcade.zip file into that directory. Then run "simpsons" from the data directory and all should work fine.)
PlayersUnlike the four player arcade machine, the PC version supports only one or two players at a time, and does not offer the "team play" feature, where the players could team up (i.e. Bart on Homer's shoulders) to battle enemies. In a two-player game, both players play at the same time, but are unable to hurt each other.
Players may choose to be Marge, Homer, Bart, or Lisa. Marge attacks by swinging her vacuum cleaner, Homer punches, Bart does wheelies on his skateboard, and Lisa uses her jumprope as a whip. All four characters can also jump up in the air and land on enemies as well.
When a player runs out of energy, they fall down exhausted into what looks like a beach chair, and lose a life. A new character in a superhero costume flies onto the scene (e.g. Marge in a "Wonder Woman" sort of outfit), and play resumes.
Attract ModeThe attract mode is similar to the arcade version, and closely resembles the opening credits of the show. ("Simpsons" logo in the clouds, Bart flies out of school on his skateboard, Homer knocks off work at the plant, Lisa in band practice, Marge and Maggie in the car, the family sitting on the couch as Maggie drops down from the ceiling, the Konami logo displayed on the t.v.)
High ScoresAre shown on the t.v. set in the Groening font, scores 1-5 first, then 6-10. An icon next to the score shows the character that was being played at the time.
Game PlayThe game begins with a short animation that sets the stage for game play. The Simpsons are walking down the street in Springfield when Smithers, wearing a cape, smashes through the door of the Springfield Jewelers after robbing it. Smithers bumps into Homer, and a large diamond goes flying into the air, landing in Maggie's mouth. Smithers runs off with Maggie as a horrified Simpson family looks on. Each of the 8 levels begins with a "title card" showing the name of the level and a short animation featuring "Binky" from Matt Groening's "Life in Hell."
Level 1: Downtown Springfield(Binky roller skates in carrying a boom box radio)
Play takes place on Main Street in downtown Springfield. Players are confronted by numerous tall men in purple suits (2 hits defeat them) and a few fat guys in pink suits (3 hits). Along the way, players also encounter two firefighters with water cannons that look vaguely like Chief Wiggum. Sights along Main street: Springfield Jewelers, the Rusty Barnacle restaurant, Noiseland Video Arcade (with a poster in the window for "Simpsons- New Game"), the Springfield Pet Shop, and the Springfield Fire Department. At the end of the level, Sherri (or Terri) walks by with a hamburger that gives the player who eats it additional energy, then the players confront a wrestler (Rasputin, the Friendly Russian?) on a bridge to end the level. Once the wrestler is defeated, the players jump for joy as Smithers floats by with Maggie in a Krusty hot air balloon.
Bonus Level: Players race to inflate a balloon of their character's head using a pump. First one done earns an extra life.
Level 2: Krustyland Amusement Park(Binky juggles)
In the Krustyland Amusement Park, players again battle the pink- and purple-suited enemies, as well as a couple of Krusty's balancing on large beach balls. (Hit the Krusty's three times, and they fall over, revealing that they are actually a bad guy in a Krusty costume.) Otto and Dr. Marvin Monroe are manning concession stands. At two points, Santa's Little Helper runs by, and you can pick him up and throw him at the bad guys. Milhouse walks by carrying a mallet you can take from him to whomp the bad guys. (Once you take the mallet, it's yours until you pick up something else or lose the rest of the current life you are on.) Then you face four pink guys in tricky spinning teacups, and some purple suited guys that throw their hats at you Oddjob-style. There's a Homer-esque gorilla in a cage in the background who will knock you over if you stand too close. Near the end of the level, you will have to defeat three Binky's (actually, more bad guys in Binky suits) that appear from doorways near the fun house, and more mallet wielding pink guys before Sherri brings you another burger. Then, you face off against a giant floating Krusty balloon that tries to smash you between its arms. Hit it twenty times and it explodes, blowing a hole in the boardwalk and dropping you down into the bushes below.
Level 3: Springfield Discount Cemetery(Binky dressed as the Grim Reaper)
Hot on the heels of Smithers, you drop down into the cemetery. More purple guys, including a few carrying Molotov cocktails or umbrellas, and a couple of guys hanging from the trees as ghosts. Then you get into the graveyard and have to battle several sets of zombies that look like Mr. Burns. At one point, you can pick up a slingshot that fires about 10 rocks before disappearing. Beat all the zombies, and the crypt opens up, allowing you to enter . . .
Level 4: Moe's Tavern(Binky in tuxedo with a martini; he takes off his sunglasses and his eyeballs spin)
Right at the beginning of this level, you have to defeat two bad guys. One, which looks like Bart in an oversized suit, sits on the shoulders of the other one (perhaps a much slimmer Homer, also in an oversized suit), and is occasionally flung at the players on the end of a long string. Hit them enough times and they separate, allowing you to polish them off individually. Then you're into Moe's proper (or at least an upscale version of Moe's.) Posters for Princess Kashmir and "Bart Tracy" hang on the wall as you go after more purple and pink guys, including some purple guys with brooms that can knock you over from a distance. Moe is talking on the phone behind the bar. Nearing the end of the level, you see several small pool tables (one with another slingshot on it), a roulette wheel, and arcade games in the background including a Simpsons arcade machine (complete with four coin slots and four joysticks). At the end of the level, you duke it out with a punk rock-ish character that looks like a bald Mrs. Botz, who breathes fire and can knock you over (or scorch you) with her breath. Knock her unconscious and you jump for joy before walking off.
Level 5: Springfield Butte(Binky in lederhosen standing on a cliff)
Smithers is on the run and tosses Maggie into a "floaty" in the river. In hot pursuit, you traverse the ledges, caves, and waterfalls of the cliffs of Springfield. There are more purple and pink guys here, as well as a couple of Homer-Bigfoots to contend with. At one point, Nelson walks by with a slingshot you can take from him, and you can also pick up Blinky, the three-eyed fish to throw at someone. Crossing over a waterfall, you come to a plateau where two strange looking cowboys (?) attempt to hit you with telephone poles. Sideshow Bob walks by with a turkey on a cart that you can eat for more strength. You can also pick up Snowball 2 (who is yellow for some reason) to throw at your enemies. The last obstacle is a giant grizzly bear who frequently rolls up in a ball and bowls you over. Hit him enough times and he flees while Maggie floats by on the river. You follow her, only to tumble over the waterfall and land unconscious, with the rest of the family, on the riverbank. Then it's on to . . .
Level 6: Dreamland(Binky in a nightcap waves a wand as stars float around him)
In a nighttime world in the clouds, as a Krusty-like crescent moon looks on, the players battle some nasty donuts (with arms and legs), phantom clouds that look like Marge and knock the players over with their hair, flying saxophones, radiation suits that continue after you even when you knock their heads off, and a handful of flying "Bart Demons" that fire lightning at you. Learning to jump is essential to taking care of the saxophones and demons. The final battle is against a large, angry bowling ball. Hit it ten times and it grows arms to try and grab you, hit it ten more times and it grows legs to try and jump on you. Ten more hits and it scatters into colored balls, and you're done. (Watch for Springfield Elementary and the Simpson house in the background.)
Bonus Level: Wake yourself up from the dream by smacking yourself in the face with a gloved hand. First character awake gets and extra life. Then there is a brief animation of the family looking on in shock as a helicopter (presumably with Smithers in it) descends onto the studios of Channel 6.
Level 7: Channel 6(Binky is riding a t.v. camera on a boom)
Inside the studios of Channel 6, there are more pink- and purple suits. In the background, an announcer (it doesn't look like Brockman, though) sits at an anchor desk in front of a graphic that reads "Missing Maggie Simpson"). There's also a King Kong cutout in the background, among other things. Eventually, you come to a soundstage of an orange lunar surface. Wander onto the set, and you'll have to defeat a large robot that shoots laser beams at you. Smash the robot to pieces and continue on, only to be confronted by a band of ninjas that hurl throwing stars or nunchuks at you. (Ah, yes, ninjas. Now we're into familiar arcade territory.) Defeat them all and you get to the final enemy, an Eskimo-ish looking person with a pikestaff who bounces around on one foot. Knock him silly, and you're onto the final battle at . . .
Level 8: Springfield Nuclear Power Plant(a green Binky glows)
Smithers descends in the purple "Krusty Toys" helicopter and runs into the plant. You follow behind, walking down the hallways of the plant (no enemies here, you just automatically walk) and into Mr. Burns' office. There, Smithers flits around, spreading bombs that explode if you get too close. Hit Smithers a few times, and he's knocked unconscious. Suddenly, the back wall crumbles and out steps: Mr. Burns in a giant robotic radiation suit. Smack Burns a few times and you knock the legs off his suit, but he grows tank treads and continues fighting, now firing missiles at you. Keep at him, and his treads blow up, but he grows a hovercraft cushion and continues. Hit him some more, and you start to crack the helmet area of his suit, and eventually break it open to reveal Burns on some sort of bulldozer-type machine. Continue bashing him, and eventually you knock him out. Burns stands there helplessly as Maggie appears at last.
Then there's an animation of Maggie putting a pacifier in the mouth of an unconscious, prone, slack-jawed Burns. Next is a picture of the reunited family with a pulsating, multi-colored background. Then we see the family from behind, walking along a moving sidewalk in the hills above Springfield, as the lights of the city twinkle below. Credits for the game appear in the sky, although the names of just about everyone involved in the game defy simple pronunciation. The last credit "Thank You for Playing" appears, and the family starts to shrink into the distance, but Homer turns, winks, and flips a diamond over his shoulder.
That's it. Game Over. It doesn't matter if you were on your last legs had 4 more lives left. You're done.
SoundThere's an occasionally disjointed, somewhat annoying soundtrack throughout the game. I turned it off with the F8 key, and was much happier. I don't know if having a worthwhile sound card in your computer makes it better, or if the voices from the arcade game are duplicated.
TipsI'm not much of a game player, but here's what I can offer. First, it appears that there are a predetermined number of enemies that must be defeated, and you get one point for each hit with no other bonus points, so you can track your progress towards the end of a level or the game by knowing the benchmarks of each level. Here they are (with a point or two margin of error):
Level 1: Ends at 67 points.
Other observationsMarge appears to be the easiest character to use. She has the longest attack range, Lisa also works fairly well. Bart appears to have the shortest range, but he's the best jumper it seems.
In almost every level, there is a tree that you can hit, causing two apples to fall. Eat them to gain more energy.
The mallet is the ultimate butt-kicking weapon, delivering the effect of two hits each time it is used on someone (thus dispatching purple guys in one blow and cutting the time it takes to kill final enemies in half). Don't pass up a chance to get it, and if your life is running low when a mallet is nearby, you might want to sacrifice yourself so you can grab it with a full life instead. Mallets are available in Levels 2 and 5. The slingshots are also good, but have limited ammo. Avoid picking up anything else (rocks, soda cans, Santa's Little Helper) while carrying a weapon, as you can't get it back afterwards.
The toughest parts of the game (to me anyway) are the pink guys in teacups on Level 2, the bear on Level 5, much of Level 6, and of course, Mr. Burns on Level 8. My advice on each of these:
Teacups: Make sure you get the mallet from Milhouse. Stay away from the enemies, and use your jumping prowess to get near them. Bring down the mallet as you get near the end of your jump. If you play the angle right, one hit from the mallet will take care of them.
Bear: Stick and move. Knock the bear down near the top of the screen, and while he's recovering, move directly down. Hit him again, move up, and repeat. Don't stay on his horizontal level, otherwise he'll roll over you. If you stay fairly aligned vertically with him, you can minimize the damage he'll do.
Level 6: To defeat the donuts, find the areas where you can walk into little "alcoves" in the clouds (e.g. the area just to the left of the Springfield Elementary sign) using the "up" key. Stand there, face the open area, and just fire away. Wait for the donuts to walk into your line of fire. This minimizes their ability to get to you. To get the saxophones and demons, just jump as high as you can, fly to the opposite side of the screen, and keep pressing your fire button. Repeat back and forth 'til they're all gone.
Burns: This just takes persistence and a lot of time and energy. Stay near the top of the screen and try to chase him into a corner. Then just pound away. He's not tremendously mobile, and will stay at about the same horizontal level. If he escapes behind you, jump to him, and continue.
(co-counsel to Lionel Hutz)
Last updated on August 9, 2000 by Jouni Paakkinen (email@example.com)